Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Fergie

Here is my beloved, beloved Irish Setter, Fergie. He is such a good sport about things like Reindeer antlers and toddler hugs. And now he is in the hospital and things do not look good for him. I am waiting now to hear the results of his ultrasound, as he has an extremely enlarged spleen, which is indicative of cancer in 90% of older dogs. He is 9 1/2 years old, and although you may not tell from this picture, he is a very large Irish.

They usually run 60-65 pounds, and he is around 85-90 pounds. This winter he ran up to 92 pounds, but when he got sick two weeks ago and stopped eating, his weight went down to his summer weight of 85 (not the way for this to happen, by the way).

I'm so deeply saddened by the impending loss of my friend and companion. My eldest son is afficted with Asperger's Syndrome, or high-functioning Autism. One of the hallmarks for this is a lack of social reciprocity, including hugging and expressions of love. He really doesn;t like to be touched at all, and as I am a very huggy person, this was extremely difficult. Fergie filled that void for me, as well as being a friend to take walks at 5 a.m. and *like* it, protector of my kids outside, and protector of the house. Although Irish are not known for being "guard" dogs, he was super protective of his family.

The hardest part of being a pet owner is making this last and difficult decision...when will my friend die? Oh, I could do surgery, and chemo, but I'm just not willing to do that to him. I tried to keep two cats alive through extreme measures, and they suffered because I could not let go. I am determined to not do this to him, to give him the dignity and strength that he deserves from me. But, oh how I hate it.

Letting go, saying goodbye, and helping my kids deal with this loss ... so hard. Yet, it is an incredibly intense part of the circle of life. We all will die someday. Being a pagan somehow helps me feel better about this, that he and I are part of this same wheel. I knew his circle would be shorter than mine, but I do believe there is another side of life, after we draw our last breath here, we, our spirits/energies will pass on to another place. Fergie will go there before me, but I know when it is my turn to go there, he will be there, bounding up to me in that lovely Irish Setter way, fur-feathers flying, and that happy, joyful look upon his sweet face.

Blessed be, my beloved friend. Our time here was too short. But I needs must let your spirit free from your hurting body. I love you.

3 comments:

Diana Troldahl said...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kirsty}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Charl said...

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Charl said...

{{Kirsty}} I've been there and it's a very hard thing to do, but I've always looked at it as the last thing I can do for a friend...